Sometimes all you need in life is a gentle little push from someone whom you know is not acting out of selfishness. Of course if it carries on for a while (in my case 5 mins or more) or it's my parents doing the talking... then it can be qualified as nagging. For others however, all you need is to hit rock-bottom... I think I am the latter. Read on see what I mean...

1. I've noticed how resistant I am to doing anything that requires will power. If you know me, you know what I'm talking about. I've never been able to go to any hobby classes, to the gym or even to a doc inspite of feeling really unwell all over. And inspite of parents, friends, AA, colleagues, and assorted people giving me gentle pushes, which were completely unselfish (how would me going to a doc benefit them?) I'm still unmoved!

2. My last relationship ended only after a completely traumatised me was faced with a threat to my nieces. That's when FINALLY there was some sanity in my life and a light was switched on at the end of that tunnel.

3. I'm heading back to my college days, and not in any good, acquiring knowledge kind of way. I'm beginning to be just as lazy and snobbish. I mostly never keep appointments if they're in the mornings; never take calls before 12; and don't let others fully finish sentences if i know what they're going to say. This inspite of knowing that my college years were my unhappiest years (I've rubbed off the memory of most of my school years... yes I was not a happy girl)

4. I saw Fashion the other day and could completely empathise with only 1 part of the entire movie. The part where Priyanka finally understands what a wreck she's become and goes crawling back to the one place where she will be enveloped into an oasis of calm... her parents. (Just for the record, it's not worth seeing the movie)

See what I mean? I'm definitely heading somewhere. But the point is, maybe I'm on my way up right now and the going down part is a long way off? Thankfully I will have my parents, my sister and (hopefully :) AA when the rock bottom stage finally hits me... That it will hit me, I am sure of. Though you people could try the gentle pushing thing a little harder maybe?

Labels: life, thoughts