Thursday, May 10, 2007
Weddings on my mind
Not mine... well maybe mine too... but what kickstarted this thought was the marriage of my childhood friend. Someone who was my best friend ever since the fourth standard. Like all school friends, I was not in touch with her the way I should have been. Lots of excuses, not enough reasons. But over the last week or so I got to observe her as she handled life as an engaged woman and to-be wife and finally being the blushing bride.

Life seems to have asserted its quickness overnight. A girl who I saw in pigtails with a purple water bottle has made the decision of a lifetime and is ready to face the world as a woman. It makes me realize how immature I still am, how lightly I'm taking life and most importantly, how old I've become.

There are weddings going on everywhere nowadays, its the wedding season they say. But what really amazes me is how much parents look forward to their daughter's wedding and how that day must be so bittersweet because knowing our Indian society, giving away the daughter comes with so many hurtful thoughts. Never eating at the daughter's house, the daughter never having the same surname again... sometimes not even having the same name anymore.
I also read this other blog where a homosexual talks about how he knows he will never stand with the person he loves and get blessings from his parents. His cousins, uncles and aunts will never celebrate his marriage. He wil never experience those feelings.
On the other hand there is me... I just cannot understand whether having that kind of traditional wedding is really worth it or not. I have seen the turbulence at my sister's and cuz' weddings... iv also experienced (second hand) my office friend's traumatic 1st wedded day. But now i've seen my best friend's wedding where everybody was all smiles and full of love.

Then again I realize that I have the chance of celebrating my love for Anand in front of the whole world and I should just take it!! It's just gonna be a one-off thing anyway but i still refuse to invite all my extended family... it may be rude.. but its gonna be my way at least ;)

But on the other hand there is a small question I want answered... Where does marriage fit into the life nowadays? Does it come in if you're not satisfied with what you do? or is it something people turn to to combat their loneliness? Why is settling down equated with settling for something that is just not good enough? Why is it a bad thing to wait and see when love will come your way?

All I know is this, I was really lonely after my last relationship was destroyed and I had decided to be alone for a while. When I left myself in God's hands and told him I accepted his wishes for my life... he sent me Anand as his special miracle. May God bless everyone who is getting married with many decades of love, joy and miracles. Especially you Tmitu.
posted by Ipshi @ 1:47 PM  
  • At Fri May 11, 10:40:00 AM, Blogger eisha said…

    very deep! sweetie trust me its a beautiful feeling to be married, to be taken care of, to care for someone, to think abt small details to make the other person clean ur house, to cook, to have silly fights...everything is worth it if you meet the right person...and i am more than sure that u have met the right guy :)

  • At Fri May 11, 12:25:00 PM, Blogger priyanka said…

    Hey ipshi i must appreciate the interesting thoughts that you have expressed in ur blog about marriage. According to me marriage is a wonderful event that takes place in a person's life and one must always have faith in God and confidence in oneself to make the marriage successful in every possible way. Ofcourse it initially starts with being cared,loved and wanted by your partner, but later the responsibility moves on to his parents and lastly the kids. The journey includes sharing your experiences with ur family members and making life far better than u had earlier. I hope you too have found the Mr.Perfect and will spend the best moments in your life with him and ur cute family.

  • At Fri May 11, 02:28:00 PM, Blogger Josephina said…

    This topic seems is one that almost every woman has to go through during these years.

    Questions always remain and the constant thought whether you r makin the right choice or not. But the fact is once you meet the man God has in plan for you, even the diffculties and imperfections seem so little to the treasure you are to have...

  • At Mon May 14, 01:19:00 PM, Blogger anand said…

    That's one helluva touching post.. I almost ended up with misty eyes!

    Well, i guess as far as marriage is concerned, we have to draw the line somewhere, coz we'll never "feel" mature enough to handle it, not matter how old we become. The kid in us always want to keep himself alive.
    More than settling down for something, marriage is realizing how two imperfect individuals fit into each others lives to make it perfect for one another. Its about realizing your (both individual & collaborative) strengths and pitfalls, and your abilities to overcome them as a couple.

    I echo the wishes n sentiment for Smita and all others as well!

  • At Mon May 14, 01:56:00 PM, Blogger Anush said…

    I was supposed to be the first one to comment and the delay has got me down to no.5. Not good, I say.

    Firstly, loved your post and the pics. Your friend's wedding has got you closer to reality. I can understand all those thoughts; exactly how I felt when my cousin sisters got married. And even I want to know the answers to all those questions and some more!

    People marry for love/moeny/companionship/getting their mess cleaned for free. Whatever be it, you need to marry the right person for the right reasons.

    I agree with Anand. You never know how much maturity is just right for you to take that step towards marriage. After a point you have to get to the other side and take it from there. This is definitely a very big step in life but someday the time will feel just right.

  • At Mon May 14, 01:57:00 PM, Blogger anand said…

    Sorry sweetie, in all the intense talk, i forgot to compliment you for the amazing choice and arrangement of pics!
    Luv u..

  • At Mon May 14, 02:19:00 PM, Blogger Ipshi said…

    Eisha - thanks for the compliment and yes, the joy of companionship is definitely a reason "for" marriage. Not to mention the money saved by not having to travel by autos just to meet each other :)

    Priyanka - thanks a lot for ur comment. I'm very glad to have your friendship back in my life.

    St.Josie - Just pray that God blesses me with the strenght to handle the difficulties and imperfections

    Anand - thanks for the compliments and just for the record... i think ur pretty perfect ;)

    Anoooosha - Let this be a lesson to u not to procastinate. But I really appreciate the well thout-out comment. Have u shared ur blog with the kool ppl in ur office yet btw?

  • At Mon May 14, 03:06:00 PM, Anonymous Asha said…

    You know I couldnt agree more with you.. with people around you getting married you ask yourself is it just for the purpose of entering a social contract that people get married for or is it for a deeper reason than that. And then you realise that maybe its more than just that. It is a celebration of togetherness, rejoicing the moment of union with a person whom you love. And if you were to interpret the meanings of some of the shlokas chanted during the wedding ceremony it makes you appreciate the sanctity of the very institution called Marriage.

  • At Tue May 15, 01:52:00 PM, Blogger Anush said…

    Yes ma'am, point noted. *bows head in guilt*.

    And no the kool ppl aren't aware yet. Me thinks one ought to retain this aura of mystery initially and unleash the koolness gradually. lol

  • At Tue May 22, 02:56:00 PM, Anonymous joey said…

    What an insightful post! :) I think marriage is something that you have to want with a desire that cannot be denied. You need to want the permanence of it, and also the compromise of 2 individuals willing to change their lives for each other. Marriage can be amazing...if you are ready for it. If it feels like "settling", it probably isn't right yet. I'm sure you don't want to be one of those married people who always seem to be complaining right? ;)

  • At Tue Oct 02, 09:07:00 AM, Blogger Katya said…

    How interesting to read your perception of marriage, since your culture is so different from mine! We share a lot of the same insights, I think.

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It is only in my 30s that I have realised I will never be the elegant lady who can wear white without spilling something on it. I recognise my blessings like my family, my friends & my job & I am letting go of my fears of writing & just jumping in. I love my job. It has given me the opportunity to live in a city where I am surrounded by the most amazing friends in the world & the most surreal experiences. It also gives me the opportunity to read great books & travel to fascinating new countries. Join me as I share these with the world.

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